Confidence is a byproduct of the belief “I am good enough”.
Good enough does not mean better than and it does not mean cannot get better. Good enough is a belief that you are, as you are in this moment, worthy and acceptable to yourself. Good enough is not a judgment someone bestows upon you, it is what you believe about yourself.
Confidence feels like acceptance, like love, like understanding. You can feel someone else’s confidence because love has a breeze to her, she floats in the wind and can be felt on your skin and through to your heart. You know when you are in the presence of someone confidence even before they speak by their ease. You feel your own confidence by how peaceful you are.
Confidence is not something to aspire too, that would be asking yourself to be different. Confidence exist when there is an acceptance and love of what is, even in your feelings of lack of confidence, if you can understand you are good enough in your lack of confidence, you will feel confident.
How to become confident? Two steps to be done at the same time, over and over again for an unknown amount of time.
1). Identify and bring to consciousness all unconscious beliefs of inadequacies. The more you think “everyone would think this is bad” the more you gotta bring awareness and light to it.
2). The second part is process (be with or allow are other words we could use) the feelings of shame, disappointment, anger, and sadness for those beliefs. This part is uncomfortable. The way we escape this pain is we either blame it on the external world for not accepting us or we blame ourselves for being so flawed that acceptance would be impossible. Both are coping mechanism for avoiding our feelings and avoiding the labor of understanding our beliefs deeper.
Once the unconscious system lifts its hold on you through repeated exposure and acceptance, you will spontaneously experience change. And somewhere along the way, you’ll find yourself understanding you are good enough. Peace becomes your default state and it won’t even cross your mind to ask yourself, am I confident?
PS. There is no such thing as good enough, it’s a made up concept invented by the mind. That means not good enough is just as made up. My mind still has a hold on me but like a lucid dream. A conversation for another day.
